you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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