I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
