Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
