just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
