My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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