It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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