the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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