Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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