So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
