He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
