I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
