I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
