If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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