its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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