So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hippo gnu deer
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
third nipple confirmed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
