ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
