jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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