I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
