Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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