i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
