Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
