Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
