My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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