did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
