i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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