college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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