the condom got lost in my hair
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
