when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i drank out of a bidet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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