have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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