How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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