I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
