I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
