so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
