I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
