You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
