they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
bring money and cleavage
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
