The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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