why didn't you poke me back
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
