Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
time to smoke my breakfast
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
