Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
