So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
