The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
