Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
