I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
