We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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