he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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