my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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