But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
