I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
