oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
