In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
